Thursday Shorts

I've been wanting to post some of my short stories for a while now. Sort of like a lazy publication... Here's one I wrote years ago during CSU Fresno's Summer Arts Program. I took an experimental narrative class with Doug Rice. The line up of visiting artists was spectacular, and they opened my eyes to a genre of writing I didn't know existed. Like Double or nothing by Raymond Federman. The words of the book are written in the crazy typography shapes and spirals.

One of the guest writers challenged us to write something erotic. Anyone who knows me knows I don't read, write or watch erotic. I wanted to be respectful of the request, but needed to stay true to who I am. So, after listening to my class read their works (the most memorable: Mark and his "tighty whities"), I got up and read this:

For the Atkins Dieter

Twinkie rests her bottom on the market shelf surrounded by her friends Cupcake, Jellyroll and Brownie. They giggle relentlessly, taunt your weakness and exploit their luscious curves and moist skin. You saunter over, glancing around. Does anyone know you? Will your Jazzercize instructor pass by and see you with Twinkie? You take the risk. But once you stand near Cupcake your Twinkie craving wavers? Are you in the mood for blonde vanilla or brunette chocolate? Both have a soft creamy center you can slowly savor with your tongue. Why decide now? You pick up both.

Cupcake is a bit more plump, round in all the right places and her shapeliness means more to enjoy. There are two in the package. Twins not to be separated in life, death or dessert. Twinkie’s cream tempts you, pokes out through three little holes on her bottom. She reminds you of the untouchable girls in high school, the ones too popular for you strutting their bare legs and smiling in that way. But now, here’s Twinkie waiting for you to help her fulfill her destiny: satisfying your neglected taste buds.

The time has come to decide. Will you consume Twinkie as she desires? Or is Cupcake more to your fancy? Before any judgments can be made, you walk with Twinkie and Cupcake to the door. Pay the bouncer to keep her 7-11 mouth shut and hop in your car faster than you walk on a treadmill.

Your desire consumes you before you get home to your glass of milk. You pull onto a side road, rip into Twinkie, throw her wrapper on the back seat and savor every ounce of sugar. You’re more careful with Cupcake, you peel off the chocolate frosting. Each bite melts in your mouth like whip cream in hot chocolate. Slowly you suck the cream out, leaving the chocolate cake. The last of your obsession waits while you indulge in the body of her sister. As you eat the twin, guilt creeps up on you. Remember the promise you made and held so dear and sacred? The commitment to forsake all sugar, all flour till diet do you and your derriere apart. Sadly you apologize to the last of Cupcake, explain your mistake and toss her out the window. Driving home you think: How will I explain this to my e-diet buddy? Will she understand? Will she forgive me? as you lick your bottom lip to be sure no crumb escapes.